“Every good conversation starts with good listening.”
We can all recall at least one conversation we had with someone that left a big impression on us. Can you remember what it was about and with whom you talked to?
Good conversations have the ability to influence someone’s life. Conversations can either transform people for the good or discourage them and change their mind about a certain thing. However, a good one is a conversation where people exchange information and ideas. Even though all human beings can speak, not everyone is a good conversationalist.
Being a good conversationalist can make people fall in love with you just because of the way you say things. They will also crave another conversation with you. Good conversationalists respect the act of communicating with someone and they always follow these steps.
1. Listen more than you speak
A lot of people don’t know how to listen as they only listen and wait for their turn to reply or they don’t pay attention at all. However, everyone needs someone to listen to them and understand them yet only a few people are willing to be the one who listens. This is the biggest reason why a lot of people are impatient to reply and they are not focused on what the other is saying.
So, if you want to be a good conversationalist, forget about replying and pay attention to the other person. Listen to their words, notice the emotion behind their mindset, their tone of voice and their persona. This way you learn about them a lot, and it is helpful getting to know a person more.
2. Make them feel comfortable
We are not always comfortable when talking to someone or sharing certain information. A lot of people feel this way often because they don’t know how to create a safe environment by being trustworthy and non-judgmental. There are also some people that you can feel you can trust them regardless of how little you know them. There is something about them that makes you open up easily. That something is actually the vibe of being non-judgmental that they radiate. You feel this vibe that shows you it is okay to be yourself around them.
You can easily become such person. Try to create that safe environment and let people know that it is okay to be themselves and that you will not judge them. You can even make the environment safer by sharing something honest that shows you are vulnerable.
3. Let the conversation flow freely
Sometimes the topic of the conversation is something we are so passionate about that we don’t want it to end. You can keep talking about it all day, and if the topic changes into another direction you want to bring up the one you are comfortable with. This is a common thing people do in order to control the conversation. However, bringing something back just because you are comfortable talking about it often creates a conversational block. Pay attention to others and whether they feel uncomfortable. Don’t make the conversation difficult this way, let it flow smoothly and try not to control it.
4. Speak when you are inspired to speak
Instead of talking about previous topics just because you have something else to add, talk about the things you find inspirational at that moment. The moment you are inspired is the right moment to speak about a certain topic. Once the inspiration is gone and you only have the information, the conversation will not be as meaningful.
Speaking about something when you are inspired makes your words and tone a lot more different and that energy will inspire other people to share their opinion. This way conversations become a potential accelerator for great ideas.
5. Don’t seek approval
Conversations should be driven by the desire to get to know people or to share ideas and opinions. But a lot of people use it just to create a certain image of a person in their mind. A lot of people avoid sharing their honest opinion because of this and they avoid talking about things that others might not approve of.
The desire to be accepted is stronger than the need to be real, so most people tend to customize their appearance just to be accepted by others. These conversations are never meaningful. Great conversationalists never seek approval because they value the point of the conversation much more than their ego.