Raising a child is the most difficult responsibility which is not always rewarding. It is a journey full of ups and downs, twists and turns as well as lots of uncertainties. But, it is important to understand that there are things you should never say to your child no matter how old they are. A child looks at its parents as role-models and will copy their behavior. It is important to set a good example for your kid through paying attention on how you act or speak in front of to them. So, try to avoid these 13 sentences when talking with your child.
1. Stop crying
If a child is crying, even if there is no particular reason for it, you should never make them feel stupid about it. It is hard for children to control their emotions so you need to let them express what they are feeling. If you are trying to stop them from crying, you are teaching them to stop having emotions.
2. You make me so sad
Being a parent means being able to withhold your emotions and reactions around your child in any situation. No matter how frustrated or angry you are, you should never tell your child that they are making you sad. Instead of bursting out, sit down and explain to them what they did wrong.
3. You are worthless
This may seem obvious, but when we are extremely angry it is difficult to control our words. But this sentence has a devastating effect on a child who is seeking your approval the most. Telling them they are worthless teaches them to seek approval on another place.
4. You drive me crazy
Another sentence with devastating effects on a child. No child wants to hear that their parent is feeling crazy because of them. If they are misbehaving, it is much better to talk to them and explain what is wrong with their behavior.
5. You aren’t enough
Of course, you can only imagine how a child could interpret these words. They might think that they lack something particular in order to be a good person.
6. Look at this lovely child
Your child might understand this as a way of saying they are worse than someone else. Comparing a child to other children might have a negative effect on their self-esteem which can make them think they are unable to achieve anything in life.
7. Why do I have to tell you this so many times?
If you think that constantly repeating your words is not working, it is time for a different approach. Children can easily tune you out if they are not interested in what you are saying, so nagging is never the solution.
8. You shouldn’t get scared
Children face fear in lots of aspects of life such as peer rejection, judgment, failure etc. Telling your child that they should not be afraid teaches them to suppress their fear. It is a much better idea to let them talk about the things that scare them.
9. I do everything for you
A child expects their parent to do everything for them since they feel protected and guided by them. You are responsible for your child, so don’t let them think the opposite.
10. I am disappointed in you
Saying this to your child no matter how old they are will always sound like saying you consider them a failure. It can seriously affect their self-esteem, so instead try to guide them to the right path.
11. It is no big deal
It might not be important to you, but it might be the whole world to your child. Never underestimate things your child considers valuable.
12. You are so lazy
Children are not always lazy, sometimes they are unable to accomplish something because of an underlying reason. Instead of hurting their self-esteem with this phrase, try to motivate them without mentioning the word “lazy”.
13. You are fat
Hearing this always hurts, but it is especially hurtful if it comes from our parents. Also, your child might often hear this from schoolmates, so always let them know that your home is the place where they will feel safe, not get bullied even more.