We hope that you will never have to deal with a manipulative narcissist. These people have bad personality traits that can have a negative influence on you. If you suspect that someone around you is such a person, sometimes it is difficult to confirm your doubts. But, there are several things that narcissists have in common. First of all, they are selfish, and will never change their nature. They will always be motivated by the things that are best for them, and never for you. In order to protect yourself from this behavior, you should remove yourself from such influence.
These are 11 common ways narcissists try to manipulate people:
1. Triangulation
Narcissist have a strong belief they are always right and will do their best to prove this. They might bring a third person to the conversation, who is usually someone they have already managed to convince. This is not fair or honest behavior because you also have the right to bring your own witness. Narcissist usually use this way to get away of being proven wrong.
2. Devaluing
Narcissist will sometimes put you on a pedestal, and the next day you are worth nothing. They might even say the exact opposite things, which is a way to manipulate you into believing you are not worth, or to force you to work harder to please them. If you accept this behavior you tell them you are not worth, but never allow yourself to be devalued by anyone.
3. Aggression
Researchers have linked narcissists to strong behaviors such as overt aggression, verbal aggression as well as the inability to control their emotions and behavior. Avoid falling in this trap and getting in an unsafe situation. You can protect yourself by detecting this behavior on time and act as soon as possible. Psychological aggression is just as bad as physical aggression. It is difficult to notice but these are some of the red flags:
- intimidating you or making you feel afraid
- threatening you
- using denigrating language
- not showing emotional, physical or financial support
- controlling your relationships with friends and family members
- controlling your behavior
- pressuring you to do things you don’t want to
Always seek professional help if you feel you are not safe around someone, especially your partner.
4. Shaming
Narcissists try to feel better about themselves by belittling others. They might make you feel ashamed for your social class, appearance or education just to make themselves look better than you.
5. Playing victim
Narcissists sometimes play the victim card just to justify their inflated ego. Don’t give up on your behavior or opinion just because they feel threatened, always stand up to what you believe and avoid letting a narcissist get everything their way.
6. Inappropriate behavior
Narcissists tend to be more extroverted, less agreeable people and also use sexual language more often. They might make you feel embarrassed in public. But, this is nothing you should feel embarrassed about. Don’t let them feel supported by smoothing things up for them.
7. Monopolizing conversation
Since narcissists think the world revolves around them, they also feel like a conversation is never worth listening if it is not about themselves. So, don’t expect them to listen to you carefully.
8. Projecting
No matter what you accuse them of doing, they will find a way to blame you about it. They often project their faults on other people because they believe they are perfect.
9. Brainwashing
This is another very common form of manipulation. They might make you do things for them that you actually hate doing, and you will not even be aware how they achieved it.
10. Gaslighting
This behavior is used by sociopaths, psychopaths and narcissists. It involves making another person question their own sanity. Even if you are certainly sure about something, they will find a way to prove to you that you are just imagining things.
11. Verbal aggression
Narcissists might also try to manipulate you through yelling or using insulting language as a way of making you feel afraid or small. Never fall for this bullying behavior. Always keep your voice low and calm and ask them to do the same. If they don’t, you can always leave the conversation until they have calmed down.